It’s Not What You Think

It’s Not What You Think… – Hughes it or Lose it?

What if what you see isn’t what you believe it to be? What if you are wrong and it’s not what you think?
It’s Not What It Seems

What if the person that cut you off on the freeway is rushing home because their loved one is sick? What if they’re not paying attention because they are afraid of not being there for someone who needs them?

What if the person who is talking too loud on their cell phone in public just got a call from someone important to them, someone they haven’t spoken to in far too long? What if this is the very last conversation they’re going to have with that person?

It’s Not What You Believe

What if the person you believe is evil is really suffering from low blood sugar, hasn’t slept enough, and is struggling to pay their bills, despite the outward appearance of success? What if they’re not really the angry person you think they are?
What if the person you believe is loud and obnoxious was neglected as a child and is behaving in a way that you don’t like because they need the attention? What if they developed this strategy because they need love, love that they aren’t getting?

What if someone you believe to be sarcastic and cynical is responding the way that they do because they have been hurt before? What if the negative traits you see are really this person’s attempt to prevent being hurt again?

What if the person you believe is lazy is really distracted because their marriage is in trouble and their teenage child is on drugs? What if their thoughts are somewhere else because they really need to focus on what’s important?

What If It’s You?

What if sometimes you are the person that others assume is doing something wrong because it isn’t what they think? What if the behaviors other people see as negative in you are really something else, something deserving of their compassion?

What if things aren’t what they seem? What if it’s not what you think?

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Written by Anthony Iannarino

7 Signs Your’e A Rebound – Hughes it or Lose it?

Rebound (2005 film)
Rebound (2005 film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


Your friends warn you that your new relationship might be a rebound, as your date’s last relationship didn’t end all that long ago. Here are a few things to look for if you suspect you might be a rebound.




Everyone has baggage. But if your date is known to mutter, “All girls are gold diggers,” or “Most guys are dogs,” he/she still has some broken-heart healing to do before embarking on a new relationship adventure. Even if the bitterness seems directly aimed at the ex and not at the ex’s gender in general, there’s still a negative energy there that will only stall a new romance before it takes off.




If you get the sense that your date is just happy to be dating someone — anyone, really — and not you in particular, don’t ignore that red flag. Even without ill intentions, your date could be using you to help soothe the sting of a breakup rather than taking the time to really get to know you and fall for you for the right reasons. These relationships are often lonely and ultimately doomed.


The “Ex” Talk


He talks about his ex all the time. He mentions that you look like her, or that your mannerisms or interests remind him of her. He takes you places his once took his ex — and tells you so. If he’s still preoccupied with someone else, he’s not ready to fully move on.


The “Ex” Remains


Even though the breakup was clearly recent, she says she’s still friends with her ex. Sure enough, Facebook confirms they’re still in contact — or worse, still “in a relationship.” Picture frames at her place have yet to be emptied of “happier times” memories. She still wears his sweater and doesn’t seem to acknowledge that it’s date-inappropriate. If the recent ex is still an active part of your date’s daily life, you’re likely a rebound.


Physical, Not Emotional


If you’re feeling like there’s too much emphasis on your physical relationship, there probably is. A tell-tale sign of a rebound relationship is one that’s very physical, with little emotional substance. If your new love interest consistently steers conversations away from vulnerability or puts up a wall every time you try to dig deeper emotionally, he/she isn’t ready for anything serious.


Friends Are Surprised He’s Dating Again


If his friends (or yours) are raising their eyebrows at the speed with which he started dating again post-breakup, the new relationship might be poorly timed. Sometimes it’s wise to trust the red flags coming from others.




If your date can’t make a single relationship decision — or even a commitment for next Friday night — he/she is likely still adjusting to a life of singleness. She might not be used to operating independently. He might be “keeping his options open” because he felt he “settled” last time. A rebound relationship is often an undefined one, with little security or commitment offered from the recently single one.


Courtesy of Eharmony




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