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5 THINGS DONE DIFFERENTLY IN HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS 

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Rebound Relationship – Hughes it or Lose it?

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7 Signs Your’e A Rebound – Hughes it or Lose it?

Rebound (2005 film)
Rebound (2005 film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Your friends warn you that your new relationship might be a rebound, as your date’s last relationship didn’t end all that long ago. Here are a few things to look for if you suspect you might be a rebound.

 

Bitterness

 

Everyone has baggage. But if your date is known to mutter, “All girls are gold diggers,” or “Most guys are dogs,” he/she still has some broken-heart healing to do before embarking on a new relationship adventure. Even if the bitterness seems directly aimed at the ex and not at the ex’s gender in general, there’s still a negative energy there that will only stall a new romance before it takes off.

 

Eagerness

 

If you get the sense that your date is just happy to be dating someone — anyone, really — and not you in particular, don’t ignore that red flag. Even without ill intentions, your date could be using you to help soothe the sting of a breakup rather than taking the time to really get to know you and fall for you for the right reasons. These relationships are often lonely and ultimately doomed.

 

The “Ex” Talk

 

He talks about his ex all the time. He mentions that you look like her, or that your mannerisms or interests remind him of her. He takes you places his once took his ex — and tells you so. If he’s still preoccupied with someone else, he’s not ready to fully move on.

 

The “Ex” Remains

 

Even though the breakup was clearly recent, she says she’s still friends with her ex. Sure enough, Facebook confirms they’re still in contact — or worse, still “in a relationship.” Picture frames at her place have yet to be emptied of “happier times” memories. She still wears his sweater and doesn’t seem to acknowledge that it’s date-inappropriate. If the recent ex is still an active part of your date’s daily life, you’re likely a rebound.

 

Physical, Not Emotional

 

If you’re feeling like there’s too much emphasis on your physical relationship, there probably is. A tell-tale sign of a rebound relationship is one that’s very physical, with little emotional substance. If your new love interest consistently steers conversations away from vulnerability or puts up a wall every time you try to dig deeper emotionally, he/she isn’t ready for anything serious.

 

Friends Are Surprised He’s Dating Again

 

If his friends (or yours) are raising their eyebrows at the speed with which he started dating again post-breakup, the new relationship might be poorly timed. Sometimes it’s wise to trust the red flags coming from others.

 

Commitment-phobic

 

If your date can’t make a single relationship decision — or even a commitment for next Friday night — he/she is likely still adjusting to a life of singleness. She might not be used to operating independently. He might be “keeping his options open” because he felt he “settled” last time. A rebound relationship is often an undefined one, with little security or commitment offered from the recently single one.

 

Courtesy of Eharmony

 

 

 

6 Cheap Hughes it Or Lose it? Date Ideas for New Years Eve

6 Cheap Date Ideas for New Year’s Eve

New Year’s Eve (only four days away!) is considered by many to be the biggest night of the year to party. But if pricey cocktails and way up-there cover charges don’t tickle your fancy, we’ve cooked up six cheap date ideas perfect for frugally festive fun.

1. Invite a few friends over for a potluck. Your delicious smorgasbord will be way more wallet-friendly than dinner at a fancy pants restaurant. Plus, you’ll have plenty to snack on while waiting for the ball to drop.

2. Order delivery and watch your favorite movies on DVD. If you and your beau are hoping for a more intimate way to ring in the New Year, call up your favorite delivery spot. Remember to place your order super early (at least an hour before you’d like to eat), delivery times on big holidays can be pretty intense.

3. Have dinner at a diner or burger joint. If you’d really like to go out on Friday but don’t want to drop a ton of dough, head to a hole-in-the-wall spot you love. Your dinner bill will probably cost less than cover charge at a fancy club. And since most party-minded folks will go to dressy and expensive restaurants that require reservations, your no-frills dive shouldn’t be too crowded. If you’re feeling really festive you and your fellow could splurge and order a milkshake. With two straws.

4. Prepare a few fancy appetizers and drinks and have a romantic night in. Get in touch with your Iron Chef fantasies by whipping up your favorite culinary goodies.

5. Get your game on. Play one of your favorite board games together while sipping champagne. Slightly saucy Scrabble, anyone?

6. Have sex. Ditch the party hats, streamers and noise makers and have a celebration for two in bed.

Are you a fan of New Year’s Eve? Do you have big plans for this Friday? Or are you doing something mellow?

– article via Glamour Magazine

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Breaking up days before Christmas?

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10 Life Lessons People Learn Too Late – Hughes it or Lose it?

Before you know it you’ll be asking, “How did it get so late so soon?”  So take time to figure yourself out.  Take time to realize what you want and need.  Take time to take risks.  Take time to love, laugh, cry, learn, and forgive.  Life is shorter than it often seems.

Here are ten things you need to know, before it’s too late:

  1. This moment is your life. – Your life is not between the moments of your birth and death.  Your life is between now and your next breath.  The present – the here and now – is all the life you ever get.  So live each moment in full, in kindness and peace, without fear and regret.  And do the best you can with what you have in this moment; because that is all you can ever expect of anyone, including yourself.  Read The Power of Now.
  2. A lifetime isn’t very long. – This is your life, and you’ve got to fight for it.  Fight for what’s right.  Fight for what you believe in.  Fight for what’s important to you.  Fight for the people you love, and never forget to tell them how much they mean to you.  Realize that right now you’re lucky because you still have a chance.  So stop for a moment and think.  Whatever you still need to do, start doing it today.  There are only so many tomorrows.
  3. The sacrifices you make today will pay dividends in the future. – When it comes to working hard to achieve a dream – earning a degree, building a business, or any other personal achievement that takes time and commitment – one thing you have to ask yourself is:  “Am I willing to live a few years of my life like many people won’t, so I can spend the rest of my life like many people can’t?”
  4. When you procrastinate, you become a slave to yesterday. – But when you are proactive, it’s as if yesterday is a kind friend that helps take a load off your back.  So do something right now that your future self will thank you for.  Trust me, tomorrow you’ll be happy you started today.  Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
  5. Failures are only lessons. – Good things come to those who still hope even though they’ve been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they’ve tasted failure, to those who still love even though they’ve been hurt.  So never regret anything that has happened in your life; it cannot be changed, undone or forgotten.  Take it all as lessons learned and move on with grace.
  6. You are your most important relationship. – Happiness is when you feel good about yourself without feeling the need for anyone else’s approval.  You must first have a healthy relationship with yourself before you can have a healthy relationship with others.  You have to feel worthwhile and acceptable in your own eyes, so that you’ll be able to look confidently into the eyes of the people around you and connect with them.
  7. A person’s actions speak the truth. – You’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times; but in the end, it’s always their actions you should judge them by.  So pay attention to what people do.  Their actions will tell you everything you need to know.
  8. Small acts of kindness can make the world a better place. – Smile at people who look like they are having a rough day.  Be kind to them.  Kindness is the only investment that never fails.  And wherever there is a human being, there’s an opportunity for kindness.  Learn to give, even if it’s just a smile, not because you have too much, but because you understand there are so many others who feel like they have nothing at all.  Read Way of the Peaceful Warrior.
  9. Behind every beautiful life, there has been some kind of pain.– You fall, you rise, you make mistakes, you live, you learn.  You’re human, not perfect.  You’ve been hurt, but you’re alive.  Think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, and to chase the things you love.  Sometimes there is sadness in our journey, but there is also lots of beauty.  We must keep putting one foot in front of the other even when we hurt, for we will never know what is waiting for us just around the bend.
  10. Time and experience heals pain. – Several years ago when I askedmy grandmother about overcoming pain, this is how she explained it to me:  Look at the circles below.  The black circles represent our relative life experiences.  Mine is larger because I am older and have experienced more in my lifetime.  The smaller red circles represent a negative event in our lives.  Assume we both experienced the same exact event, whatever the nature.  Notice that the negative event circles are the same size for each of us; but also notice what percentage of the area they occupy in each of the black circles.  Your negative event seems much larger to you because it is a greater percentage of your total life experiences.  I am not diminishing the importance of this event; I simply have a different perspective on it.  What you need to understand is that an overwhelmingly painful event in your life right now will one day be part of your much larger past and not nearly as significant as it seems.

Negative Life Experiences