Posted on

SHOULD YOU DATE YOUR BEST FRIEND?

FOLLLOW ON TWITTER HUGHES IT OR LOSE IT?
5 Reasons To Date Your Best Friend from MyTango.com

“HUGHES IT.”

As heard on The Hughes it Or Lose it? Radio Show.

Why dating your best friend may be your best bet to finding true love.

There’s nothing quite like feeling a spark of attraction between you and someone you just met, but lately, we’ve been wondering whether it’s better to date a friend, or at least somebody we’ve known longer than just a couple of weeks, and who knows more about us than just our name and phone number. Sure, the transition from friend-to-boyfriend might feel a little weird at first, but we think that the benefits of dating one might just overrule the awkwardness: Can Men And Women Be “Just Friends”?

1. He’s familiar with your bad side
Let’s face it, during the first few months of dating someone new, it’s easy to hold yourself together and pretend like you don’t have a dark side (everybody has one). You downplay your insecurities in hope that he won’t see you as clingy, and you supress the fact that you occasionally get moody, jealous, or pointlessly angry. As a friend, he will not only be aware of your personal weaknesses, but he will know how to respond to them in a way that is constructive to the relationship and to your desire to improve yourself. I Facebook-Stalk My Ex’s New Girlfriend

More from YourTango: Asa Akira Is Insatiable, And We Love Her For It

On that same note, you’ll be aware of his bad fashion sense, his corny jokes, and his strange fondness for period pieces before you start dating him. Heck, you might even love him all the more for the quirks you would find annoying in anybody else.

2. You’re more or less aware of each other’s relationship history
Chances are, you’ll feel less self-conscious about the number of guys in your past if your boyfriend already knows about them before deciding to date you. Even better, you’ll probably have an inkling of an idea about why his past relationships didn’t work out. That way, both of you will have a sense of each other’s relationships styles and issues and will be better prepared to deal with potential conflicts. Smart Talk: Your Sex Number

3. You’re comfortable with each other
It takes a few weeks (if not longer) to feel completely at ease with somebody new. Should you eat ice cream from the container in front of him? Should you reveal that you’re a twentysomething who still rereads Harry Potter on occasion? When dating someone who started out as a friend, you can skip the neurotic “I need to impress him” phase and go straight to wearing no makeup and nerding out together on Saturdays spent indoors.

Posted on

7 Signs Your’e A Rebound – Hughes it or Lose it?

Rebound (2005 film)
Rebound (2005 film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Your friends warn you that your new relationship might be a rebound, as your date’s last relationship didn’t end all that long ago. Here are a few things to look for if you suspect you might be a rebound.

 

Bitterness

 

Everyone has baggage. But if your date is known to mutter, “All girls are gold diggers,” or “Most guys are dogs,” he/she still has some broken-heart healing to do before embarking on a new relationship adventure. Even if the bitterness seems directly aimed at the ex and not at the ex’s gender in general, there’s still a negative energy there that will only stall a new romance before it takes off.

 

Eagerness

 

If you get the sense that your date is just happy to be dating someone — anyone, really — and not you in particular, don’t ignore that red flag. Even without ill intentions, your date could be using you to help soothe the sting of a breakup rather than taking the time to really get to know you and fall for you for the right reasons. These relationships are often lonely and ultimately doomed.

 

The “Ex” Talk

 

He talks about his ex all the time. He mentions that you look like her, or that your mannerisms or interests remind him of her. He takes you places his once took his ex — and tells you so. If he’s still preoccupied with someone else, he’s not ready to fully move on.

 

The “Ex” Remains

 

Even though the breakup was clearly recent, she says she’s still friends with her ex. Sure enough, Facebook confirms they’re still in contact — or worse, still “in a relationship.” Picture frames at her place have yet to be emptied of “happier times” memories. She still wears his sweater and doesn’t seem to acknowledge that it’s date-inappropriate. If the recent ex is still an active part of your date’s daily life, you’re likely a rebound.

 

Physical, Not Emotional

 

If you’re feeling like there’s too much emphasis on your physical relationship, there probably is. A tell-tale sign of a rebound relationship is one that’s very physical, with little emotional substance. If your new love interest consistently steers conversations away from vulnerability or puts up a wall every time you try to dig deeper emotionally, he/she isn’t ready for anything serious.

 

Friends Are Surprised He’s Dating Again

 

If his friends (or yours) are raising their eyebrows at the speed with which he started dating again post-breakup, the new relationship might be poorly timed. Sometimes it’s wise to trust the red flags coming from others.

 

Commitment-phobic

 

If your date can’t make a single relationship decision — or even a commitment for next Friday night — he/she is likely still adjusting to a life of singleness. She might not be used to operating independently. He might be “keeping his options open” because he felt he “settled” last time. A rebound relationship is often an undefined one, with little security or commitment offered from the recently single one.

 

Courtesy of Eharmony

 

Related articles

 

 

Posted on

6 Cheap Hughes it Or Lose it? Date Ideas for New Years Eve

6 Cheap Date Ideas for New Year’s Eve

New Year’s Eve (only four days away!) is considered by many to be the biggest night of the year to party. But if pricey cocktails and way up-there cover charges don’t tickle your fancy, we’ve cooked up six cheap date ideas perfect for frugally festive fun.

1. Invite a few friends over for a potluck. Your delicious smorgasbord will be way more wallet-friendly than dinner at a fancy pants restaurant. Plus, you’ll have plenty to snack on while waiting for the ball to drop.

2. Order delivery and watch your favorite movies on DVD. If you and your beau are hoping for a more intimate way to ring in the New Year, call up your favorite delivery spot. Remember to place your order super early (at least an hour before you’d like to eat), delivery times on big holidays can be pretty intense.

3. Have dinner at a diner or burger joint. If you’d really like to go out on Friday but don’t want to drop a ton of dough, head to a hole-in-the-wall spot you love. Your dinner bill will probably cost less than cover charge at a fancy club. And since most party-minded folks will go to dressy and expensive restaurants that require reservations, your no-frills dive shouldn’t be too crowded. If you’re feeling really festive you and your fellow could splurge and order a milkshake. With two straws.

4. Prepare a few fancy appetizers and drinks and have a romantic night in. Get in touch with your Iron Chef fantasies by whipping up your favorite culinary goodies.

5. Get your game on. Play one of your favorite board games together while sipping champagne. Slightly saucy Scrabble, anyone?

6. Have sex. Ditch the party hats, streamers and noise makers and have a celebration for two in bed.

Are you a fan of New Year’s Eve? Do you have big plans for this Friday? Or are you doing something mellow?

– article via Glamour Magazine

Hughesitorloseit?

Posted on

Some of these top 10 shouldn’t be considered! – Hughesitorloseit.com?

Top 10 Ways For People To Break Up
There are a lot of things that you can tell to your partner in order to break up an existing relationship, but have in mind that there are only few of them that you will be able to use and be sure that you will not heart the feelings of your ex-partner. Remember that you got to have some respect for the person you used to date, because otherwise you can cause him or her lots of hard feelings. Furthermore, there are some simple ways that you can make your partner to break up with you, which will help you to save a lot of sadness for your partner.
The top 10 ways that people use to break up:

1. One of the more popular ways to make your partner break up with you is to be annoying. There are a lot of ways that you will be able to do that, like for example forget her birthday and all the holidays that you have. Furthermore, you can learn some dumb catchphrases that you will have to repeat all the time. It is good idea to watch some old movies to find some that you can use. Eventually, your partner will break up with you, because he or she will not be able to stand you anymore.

2. Simply talk to her and explain why you will have to break up. Probably that is the best way to break up, because you will be honest and you will not use some of the modern technologies, like for example your mobile phone or your computer. Remember that if you use an e-mail or SMS to break up with your partner you will look as a coward.

3. Another possible solution is to move. However have in mind that this is not one of the bravest things that you can do, but it will have effect for sure. To make that happen you ill simply have to pack all your stuff and leave.

4. In most of the dating websites, sending dead flowers to your partner is a possible way to break up. However, remember that if you use that way for breaking up you will make your ex-partner feel really bad and you will never be able to look at him or her again.

5. Use one of the most common phrases for breaking up and that is “I love you, but only as a friend”. IF you tell that phrase to your partner, he or she will immediately see what you are trying to say. Although that you can hardly stay a friend with your ex-partner, that is one of the most common phrases for breaking up and you can use it, if you do not know what else you can do.

6. Make audio tape or CD for your partner. That is a romantic way to break up and you will leave better impression to your ex-partner. There are a lot of songs that you can include and all of them will say that you want to break up with him or her. However, there is a serious chance that your partner will not get the message.

7. Start dating her or his friend. That is probably the most effective way to break up, but have in mind that you will make the relationship between your partner and his or her friend really bad. On the other hand you will not have to think of some reasons, why you want to break up with her.

8. Call and tell her how you feel. That is very suitable for all the people, who simply do not have the courage to break up face-to-face. Remember that you will have to think of at least one good reason, why you want to break up with your partner, because otherwise you risk becoming the laughing stock of the whole town.

9. Tell someone to tell your partner that you want to break up. However that is probably the most pathetic way to break up with someone and my advice is to use it only if you haven’t been able to succeed using all the other methods for breaking up, but have in mind that even e-mail breaking is better.

10. Draw her comic book, where you will break up with her. Although that it may sound really funny, that is one the best ways to break up with somebody and you will be able to do it in a very good manner. Furthermore, you will not make your ex-partner hate you and you will be able to leave a good impression to him or her.

20121102-080349.jpg